Imagine, you walk into the store to buy sugar. You head to the isle with the sugar and see that there are only two bags left. As you approach the shelf, another guy is reaching to grab both bags. You can tell he noticed you and knew you were headed to the sugar. But he turns and walks away with both bags of sugar. How do you feel? Angry? Disgusted? Disappointed? If you were the one there first, how would you have acted?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or maybe think of a more common driving scenario: you and another driver are each in a lane and the two lanes are merging up ahead. What often happens? One of the drivers will speed up to get ahead of the other. Does either voluntarily back off a little and let the other go first? Maybe sometimes, but sometimes no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This week’s Lightward Bound meme I posted on Facebook says, “Respect for others means their needs are as important as your own.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The two scenarios above are cases where this meme message applies. We can’t legitimately justify putting our own needs above everyone else’s. Yes, we must take responsibility for ourselves and take care of our own needs, but in doing so, we should always be willing to make room for others to take care of their own needs. For example, in the case of the sugar, the person that got there first might offer one of the bags to the other person. That would be the more respectful way to act. That is the light of caring. In that case, both shoppers could leave the isle happy about the situation. Another way it could be a respectful outcome is for the two to discuss who needs the sugar more and perhaps they both agree that this specific person does actually need both bags and they mutually agree to that. Again, they can both leave the isle a little happier than in the first scenario.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But how often do we take the time and put in the energy to truly act respectfully toward those around us? We get in a hurry and just focus on our own needs. Or we operate with blinders on and have no clue about what’s happening with someone else. Additionally, we live in a culture that promotes competition and along with that, we get the message that we need to be the one that wins the competition. If we don’t, we’re “a loser” or only second best or other such nonsense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Competition has its place; it can lead us to put in more effort to accomplish a goal. But it shouldn’t rule every aspect of our lives. And yet sometimes it does. Maybe we feel we have to win the argument with our spouse. Or we may feel we need to have more fun toys than the neighbor. We might feel our income needs to be more than so and so’s income. Competition, though, doesn’t naturally fuel respect. Instead it can fuel arrogance when we win or make us feel worthless if we lose. Competition can lead us to put our own needs above the needs of anyone else. This is detrimental to communities, families, and individuals. It is a part of what taints our politics and has contributed to corruption in business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A concept that we in the United States don’t seem to learn much about is collaboration. We learn competition from a young age, but many of us never learn much about collaboration. Collaboration leads us to work together for an objective we agree on. In the sugar scenario above, collaboration would most closely be the case where both shoppers discussed their needs and decided together who should get the sugar. In the traffic merging scenario, it might look like both drivers assessing where the other car is and willingly slowing down a little so the car that is already a little ahead merges first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Competition helped us build a great, prosperous nation, but I believe it’s now time to back off of the competition and turn to collaboration. While many people say competition is the power of capitalism that leads to wealth and prosperity, those same people rarely seem to acknowledge the harm that competition also causes along the way to that prosperity that is only available for some. If we want more unity in our country and our communities, we need more collaboration with others. We need to join together as citizens, as fellow humans, and come to some agreements on what the majority really want most. Then we need to work together to come up with approaches that can satisfy those needs most broadly. But as long as we stay focused on our own wants and needs, as long as we feel we need to always be first, this will never happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So in the end, it’s up to each of us individually to choose what sort of community and nation we will have. Will we continue with the bickering about everything (e.g. from politics to wearing masks)? Or will we decide to look at each other and ask, “well, what is it that you really want?” and try to work together to achieve the most important things for everyone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What will you choose?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Emil<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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