NOTE: This page is under construction.
Loving People
Loving and caring for others is light. It is perhaps the most critical element of light that can help build unity among people.
We hear in the Bible that we should love our neighbors as ourselves.
What if we just did that? No debate about whether the Bible is true. No debate about if religion is real or not. What if we just follow that idea and see what happens?
• What if we look out for the well-being of others, like we look out for our own well-being?
• What if we accept others with their faults and flaws, like we do with ourselves?
• What if we look for the good in others, just as we see what’s good in ourselves?
• What if we help others with their situations, just as we would welcome help in our times of need?
• What if we listen to others, like we want people to listen to us?
• What if we strive to respect other people’s boundaries, like we expect others to honor ours?
• What if we forgive others for what they do wrong, like we would like others to forgive our mistakes and weaknesses?
What if we just follow that “Golden Rule” to do toward others as we would want them to do toward us?
Spread the Message of Light
We have the power to make America a better place to be. It starts with each one of us right here in Tooele County. It starts with every American wherever they are. One way to start is to use your influence to help spread the message of light!
Parenting
It is especially important to ensure that light enters the lives of children as much as possible. Parents are in a special position to help bring light into their lives. Please, make sure the things you do as a parent (or grandparent) help bring light into their lives. Too often and too easily, darkness can enter a child’s life from a number of sources–sometimes even from parents. Be careful, be mindful, and be intentional about bringing light into the lives of children.
Parenting Topics
Helping Children Connect
The U.S. Surgeon General has identified a U.S. “epidemic of loneliness” in a 2023 advisory. The advisory gives some suggestions for helping children avoid this epidemic:
– Invest in your relationship with the child
– Model healthy social connection
– Help children build safe relationships with other adults
– Encourage healthy social conncetions with peers
– Look for signs of not connecting (observe & communicate)
Source: Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community, 2023, p. 65
Download the advisory from the Health and Human Services website.
Parenting Styles
Authoritative parenting style has been shown by many studies to lead to better outcomes for children than other parenting styles that have been studied. Four main styles that have been studied are authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful styles.
Authoritative parenting involves a combination of the following elements: a supportive relationship between parents and the child, setting clear boundaries for the child, granting a degree of autonomy for the child to make his/her own choices, monitoring the child’s activities, and enforcing boundaries through appropriate positive or negative consequences.
Many studies have shown that each of the other parenting styles are associated with increased rates of negative outcomes for children in one or more of these areas: depression, anxiety, delinquency, and substance abuse. Some studies have identified additional undesirable outcomes.
Negotiating
Children need to learn the skill of negotiating. It’s part of the give and take of healthy relationships.
Provide opportunities for your children to negotiate with you for their wants. They will be happier and you’ll have a better relationship than if you always demand your way with them.
Negotiating with them is about coming to an agreement on when and how they get the thing they want, not just giving them whatever they want.
Correcting Children
A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 (ESV*)
To help bring light into the lives of our children, even during corrections, it’s important to apply this concept with our children. Are we stirring up anger or resentment in our children by using harsh words? Yelling or threats, punishments, and even “consequences” aren’t ultimately what help children learn to do what’s right.
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 (ESV*)
Telling them what the boundaries are, giving explanations about what’s right and wrong, and setting the example helps them know what is right or acceptable. This is “train[ing] up a child in the way he should go.”
Accountability is the key to enforcing boundaries, not the imposing of discomfort. Discussion of what went wrong and reminding the child of the expectations are often sufficient accountability that will guide them when we maintain a consistent message about the subject. They will tend to adopt those values in time, which will go with them even when no one is there watching them.
Harsh dealings with our children bring darkness into their lives. Light comes into their lives when children feel loved and accepted, even during corrections.
* ESV = English Standard Version of the Holy Bible
Click to download .pdf of Correcting Children.
Additional Thoughts Related to Correcting Children
The goal of parenting isn’t about forced obedience or demanding immediate compliance to the parent’s every expectation.
Obedience and compliance are desirable, but achieve it through respect and love, not threats or pain. (There are times that restraining a young child may be necessary for his or her safety. Still no need for threats or pain, just explain the situation in terms the child can understand.)
The overall goal for parenting should be long-term, helping children establish good values and habits that enable them to live their best lives as adults. We want them to be good citizens that contribute to the well-being of their communities and to people around them, while also striving to be self-reliant to the degree they can be.
A parent’s role isn’t about using children to live out vicariously their own unfulfilled past hopes. The role isn’t to make children take on a particular career or sport or hobby, either. They may naturally follow things they’ve seen you do, but let it be something they choose because they desire it, not because someone is pushing them into it.
It’s important to remember that children grow and mature over time. Though they will mess up and make mistakes (as we all do), the values they have been exposed to most and that they understand are likely to solidify as they grow and will become the foundation for guiding their behavior.
Fairness
Rather than focusing too much on demanding fairness from others, let’s focus on providing fairness. Be fair with others, rather than looking for ways to take advantage or get the upper hand. Light is about being fair to others, not demanding fairness from others.
Appreciation for Community
A community is a group of people who function together, ideally for the benefit of all the community members. There is light in a community that works for the benefit of all.
Here in Tooele County, it is because we have a community that we also have many of the services and conveniences that enhance our lives, such as:
– Running water to our homes
– Waste removal services from our home
– Electricity and other utilities to our homes
– Schools for our children
– Shopping centers and stores
– Medical facilities
– Emergency services
– Paved streets to drive on
– Snow removal operations
– Events like the County Fair
Definitely something to appreciate!
Unity Promise
Only through unity can we ever become the greatest nation we can be. Let every American make this promise:
I am an American.
I have a part in making America great, so I will help build unity by:
• Caring about the people around me
• Looking for and sharing truth, not lies
• Honoring appropriate boundaries (moral, legal, and those of individual persons)
Lightward Bound believes these are essential elements that help support and maintain unity.