We have been conditioned over the years to view things through certain mindsets. We like to believe that we’re independent and that we have full control of our ourselves and that we think for ourselves. But instead, we are conditioned by our environment to think and act based on the prevalent social norms.
We are influenced by our family’s views, our peers’ views, our religion, and quite strongly by the media. We also make choices and decisions regarding those influences. Many of these influences, we just accept without realizing it. But sometimes, something seems obvious to us that is contrary to what we’ve seen around us. In these cases, we may truly make a choice not to follow the prevailing cultural norms. With other aspects of culture, though, we might not make a choice, until we are exposed to contrasting views that lead us to think more deeply about the situation. And sometimes we might think the choice doesn’t really matter and other times, we’ll take a side that fits most closely with what we already believe.
We usually don’t realize it, but we are so full of attitudes, practices, ideologies, etc. that we adopted from the culture around us. It’s a mix of “doing what the Romans do” and conscious choices. Regardless which way we gained a particular perspective or practice, we are prone to carry with us and act on some ideas that are detrimental to ourselves, others, or society more generally. We can’t see all of the possible effects of some of the perspectives and practices. We also tend to want what we want and therefore may justify our views that satisfy our concept of “the way the world ought to be.”
One of these perspectives that has infiltrated human cultures is the idea of revenge and retaliation. It is definitely a theme in U.S. culture. We can see some evidence of this by looking into the entertainment world. According to the website, ScreenRant,
“Revenge is a recurring theme in a lot of Quentin Tarantino’s movies. His most recent movies have been historical revenge fantasies, with some choice sequences in Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained attesting to that fact. His most blatant revenge story, however, was Kill Bill.”
ScreenRant, “Kill Bill: 15 Quotes About Revenge” by Ben Sherlock; May 14, 2020
https://screenrant.com/kill-bill-greatest-revenge-quotes/
These three movies just mentioned are among Tarantino’s top-grossing movies (worldwide). (See “Quentin Tarantino’s Net Worth Is the Result of His Dedication to Movie Making: Can you guess his highest-grossing film?” by Temi Adebowale; Jan 17, 2020; https://www.menshealth.com/entertainment/a30551577/quentin-tarantino-net-worth/)
As I searched on the Internet for “statements on revenge,” it came up with over 100 million results. It’s obviously on people’s minds enough. Numerous quotes came up in the results, some pro-revenge and some more against it. We often hear statements about “getting someone back,” “getting even,” “revenge is sweet,” or the key along the side of someone’s vehicle. Revenge shows up in our movies and books and other fiction, but is also quite common in real-life divorce proceedings, to name one obvious example.
The desire for revenge may be a somewhat natural reaction in situations where we feel hurt by someone, but humans are capable of putting higher values above our animal-like reactions. People in history have placed themselves in deadly danger for a cause they believed in. We can choose the better option even when our instinct might be to make the more natural choice. Certainly, this higher choice often isn’t the easy choice, but it is the better choice in the long-run.
The desire for revenge can become a mind-consuming focus that fuels animosity, hatred, and acts of darkness. It can also lead to escalating violence when both sides seek revenge on each other. It can be a never-ending struggle that leads to feuds between families and wars between nations.
There’s no need to be a doormat either. There’s no value in consistently letting people take advantage of and walk all over you. There’s no good in refusing to act in the sight of actions aimed to hurt ourselves or others, when we have the means to take reasonable actions. Letting evil have free reign only encourages it to continue. But self-defense is the line where we should stop. There’s no good–no light–in inflicting additional harm on someone, beyond what might be necessary to preserve or protect one’s self. It’s sort of like a mountain peak. The top of the mountain represents defending oneself or others from harm. Going down one side is the lower choice to refuse to do anything to prevent an evil act and going down the other side is the lower choice of taking harsher or additional actions beyond what is needed for self-defense, with the main intention of causing pain or harm (rather than self-defense).
I would suggest that we tend to seek revenge or retaliation in many places that we don’t even recognize. It often starts at young ages too. I would also say that avoiding vengeful acts and attitudes is important if we really want a great nation, a nation where crime is low and prosperity is significant, a nation where depression, anxiety, and even poverty are low and personal and family happiness is commonplace.
Take some time to think about this in terms of communities. Revenge won’t build a strong, joyous community. It really doesn’t even give any lasting happiness to the individual who takes out revenge on his enemy, though he might be pleased or satisfied with himself and the outcome.
And for those who believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, there is just no room for revenge or any actions of the kind. It just isn’t light, but darkness.
Let’s spread light!