A big donation to support a college or another good cause is great. Such donations help keep good things going. But they also tend to get a lot of attention, especially the larger ones. Some modest publicity about donations from the wealthy is perhaps warranted, but should never be the main goal of the donation. But grand acts of kindness, such as a six-figure donation, don’t overshadow the need for all of us to make kindness a daily mindset.
Helping people to excel in life doesn’t come from a few grand acts by celebrities or the powerful. It comes from each person in one’s environment making it possible for them to grow and thrive. This means that people around them are not doing things that might tear them down, crush their dream, take away hope, and all those other dark things. It should always be our goal to avoid being the cause of someone else’s hurt, especially for an unworthy cause. We generally expect others not to mess with us or cause us pain. It’s a two-way street.
For all of us to have a better environment, kindness is truly an important characteristic to manifest in our daily lives. Kindness is usually simple enough and may boost someone’s spirit when they were feeling down. Of course, it certainly is harder to maintain kindness when someone makes us angry or has hurt us. But as I mentioned in the previous blog post, getting back at others isn’t worth anything in the long-run, other than maybe satisfying some selfish ego feelings.
I’m not suggesting that we should never use firmness or demand something difficult from anyone. But those should be for a good cause, not merely for personal convenience, revenge, or some sick pleasure in the pain of others.
Maybe you don’t feel like you need anyone’s kindness. But really that isn’t true. There is always someone bigger and tougher that could come along and take you down. But if that bigger, tougher person decides to be kind to you and use his/her strength to help you instead of hurt you, certainly you’re not going to complain. But then, would you return the favor to someone weaker than you?
We need to catch the vision of treating each other with respect, with kindness. It has been taught to most of us from young in some form, whether from parents, church, or school teachers. But we also sometimes tend to forget or we justify unkindness: “they deserve it” or “I’m in a hurry; I don’t have time for niceties.” So let this be your call to bring back kindness that you’ve already learned, the kindness that can ignite a more beautiful world for you and everyone around you.
There are a few situations where we probably ought to make a little more effort to be kind or gentle. One of those is when people make mistakes. Whether it’s our children, our spouse, a coworker, an employee, we need to make the effort to take it easy on them, hold back the anger or disappointment, and give them room to deal with their own feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, etc. Often, they already know they didn’t quite meet the expectation. And we all go through that–no one is immune from making mistakes. When the time is right, maybe you might need to help them see how they could do better–gently. Or sometimes nothing needs to be said.
Another situation where we need to be careful with others is when they show their ignorance. No one knows everything; we are all ignorant in some areas. So it’s pretty hypocritical to condemn someone for their lack of knowledge, when we lack knowledge too. No one likes to look stupid in the first place, so making a big deal about someone’s ignorance is like rubbing salt in the wound. And doing it knowingly is just darkness. There are many reasons a person might not know some particular information that everyone else seems to know. Condemning their lack of knowledge is a form of unfair judging. Perhaps more people would confess that they don’t know something and would ask fitting questions if they didn’t have to worry that someone would make fun of them or put them down for what they don’t know. When I worked as a substitute in Tooele County School District, I hated when students would say something derogatory about a student who made an error. I always made a point of quickly putting a stop to that. No one should feel that their value or worth is diminished for not knowing something or asking questions.
While there are surely other situations that call for kindness, the last I will mention here is while driving on public roads. As each of us is driving our vehicles–chunks of metal that weigh thousands of pounds–on the roads with others around us doing the same, we’re bound to feel some tension and stress. A lot of things can distract us or reduce our awareness of what’s happening around us. It’s not a time to be pushy, hostile, or impatient. It’s a time to put on our best kindness hat and drive like everyone around us is our friend or a distant relative that we want to meet. (And in reality, they are all our distant relatives.) Imagine everyone on the road working together so everyone gets to their destination safely and in good spirits, rather than competing as if only one driver can have the privilege of arriving at his or her destination. Let that vision of drivers working together be our guide while we’re on the streets.
One last thought about kindness: In the business world, many corporate leaders have learned that taking care of the employees will produce a better work environment and their profits will be higher as a result. I am absolutely convinced that a nation will be more prosperous if its people feel that they are valued by the people around them. If kindness becomes our daily mindset–the default way we conduct ourselves around others–it can spread, leading people to have more energy and motivation to do their best. When people have to waste too much of their energy defending themselves, constantly looking over their shoulder, and recovering from the hurtful things people say and do, they can’t perform at their best. This is a blow to America’s well-being. So if nothing else, be kind for America!